He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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