You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
