we're chasing vodka with high fives
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
