All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
