Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
