I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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