Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
