is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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