i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
