That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
