You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think pants incapable of making pants work
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
