We won't sleep together?
I wish my penis had an off switch
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
