You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
