we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Couch. On fire.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
