My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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