My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
