Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
