Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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