We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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