hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Can I color on your dick again?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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