bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
