Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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