Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
