My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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