Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drake has all the answers
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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