WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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