looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize