OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
