Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
