dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
