I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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