I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Boobs are out for the taking
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
