Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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