i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
