Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
