Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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