Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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