I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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