Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
