dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
