flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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