Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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