based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
