I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there's paper in my vomit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize