Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
3 2 1 whiskey
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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