You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
