My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
