i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
