the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
