she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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