i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
