That's intense
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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