i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I deserve this hangover.
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