i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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