And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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