When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
