Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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