BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
