I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How naked do you want me to be?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
