Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
