I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
