i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
