so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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