Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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