At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
