I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
