Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
