sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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