I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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