what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
